Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize