bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize