eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize