I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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