wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
