erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
did i just pee glitter
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
