Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
