Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
