We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize