I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
