You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
