Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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