Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
