So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
