there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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