he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
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His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize