Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
