Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
