What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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