Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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