I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hippo gnu deer
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
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Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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