apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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