I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
