so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
