we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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