At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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