If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
