So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
