The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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