Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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