i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
