i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
