the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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