We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
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