I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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