yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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