M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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