So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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