I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
