Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
