If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have surprise drugs for everyone
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
