I wanna bring you to show and tell
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
