I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
