If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
In America we eat man semen.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
