I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
