I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
don't judge my taste in strippers
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
