this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
