I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
