i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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