would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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