Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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