Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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