no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
