At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize