we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
