Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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