dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
