even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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