I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize