If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
