does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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