and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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