I got chris browned last night
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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