Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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