She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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