break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
