so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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