i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
